The Definitive Guide to What Not to Eat on a First Date

first date food

The classic no-no on a first date is widely accepted as spaghetti bolognaise. It’s understandable. It’s slippery, tricky to eat without slurping unattractively and covered in red sauce that leaves you with a dodgy-looking attempt at lipstick however many times you engage napkin with face. Don’t be fooled though. There are plenty of other dangerous food options on the menu. If you think this girl or guy could be a keeper, think twice before you order…

It’s difficult to eat handheld food and maintain eye contact, avoid gobbling and generally sustain a level of respectability. Fajitas and burgers may seem like a safe choice, but eating with your hands isn’t necessarily the sophisticated look you may be trying to portray. Gesticulation, which may be a necessary addition to the funny/dramatic/interesting story you are telling, is impossible whilst grasping a half eaten wrap or taking on a rack of ribs. When you also consider the chances of dropping mayonnaise, ketchup or fajita sauce, it’s clearly a risky choice.

Garlic bread is troublesome for obvious post-dinner reasons. Please avoid.

We’ve been told in recent days that we should try to eat seven portions of fruit and vegetables per day. That’s quite a lot, and for the health conscious dater it may mean you need to top up your daily intake on your meal out. A word of warning though: spinach is a poorly thought-out choice. It’s better to risk only eating six veggies that day rather than smiling at the end of the night with green bits between your teeth. There is no one in the world who thinks this is an attractive look.

Overly chewy food can be a bit of a hindrance to flowing conversation. If you’re getting stuck into a chewy piece of steak, you may have just chosen a bad restaurant, but avoid it if you can and you’ll also avoid awkward silences, talking with your mouth full and that horrible moment where you try to speak, breathe and swallow your mouthful simultaneously.

I don’t know why would be eating donuts on a first date, but if you are, be careful. Projectile jam is a threat to anyone’s ability to look relaxed and in control of a situation.

Finally, be wary of dishes that are challenging to eat. There are two categories here: foods you aren’t sure how to eat and meals involving chopsticks. The first time I ever had edamame beans, I didn’t realise you weren’t supposed to eat the shell as well as the beans inside. A chewy and quite bitter-tasting mistake to make (thankfully made with a friend, not on a date). If you’re particularly proficient with chopsticks, you may be able to make yourself look cool and make sushi look easy. If you’re not, you’ll probably look a bit special and a bit of a mess. Plus you’ll take so long to eat your meal that your date might get bored and leave. Swallow your pride and ask for a fork.

Lady and the Tramp shared a lovely romantic moment over spaghetti, but there is no guarantee that the same will happen to everyone. Don’t be scared to go out for dinner on a date, just stick to food that keeps you looking great.

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2 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide to What Not to Eat on a First Date

  1. Come on girl, where’s your sense of adventure. If it works out, what will you have to laugh about 30 years later?

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